Probably because the NFL doesnt give a flying fuck.

My favorite part of the new NFL is how the announcers will discuss, at length along with telestrater assisted replay to diagnose an injury: collarbone? Dislocated shoulder? How about what ligament it was in the knee?

Guy gets a concussion? “Looks a little shaken up on the play.”

It’s basically an Accord coupe with a cool paint job.

Dry Bear: Coming from the stream?

Poke‘er in the front, Bone‘er in the I’m-sorry-I’ll-show-myself-out.

Sometimes what doesnt kill you probably should have just killed you.

I was born on Thanksgiving and its been a disaster ever since.

I was just chilling, doing a little hunting, when I saw them roll up. I don’t like to pass judgement, but these guys looked weird. They were like a bad semi-Goth band with hipster tendencies for wool and poorly fitting jackets. Ugh, those hats were atrocious too. And they were rolling deep. Women, animals, you name…

It’s been clear over the past few seasons that the Lions work very hard to censor what people can say about them. Specifically, they’ve made it nearly impossible to say things like “the Lions look pretty impressive this year” or “I’ll give up the points and take the Lions.”

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Something-something Winter’s Bone, amirite?

Teenage Jennifer Lawrence in a bikini.

Jennifer Lawrence is getting bigger

Well, thats ugly as shit.

“Hey look, its a gen-u-wine New York City subway like in the movies! Take my pitcher!”

Just tell me.....is there any taco gobbling ?

This is the kind of movie you play on 8th grade movie date night when you could not possibly give a fuck less whats happening on screen because you’re directing every iota of brain function towards the possible finger banging of your girlfriend.

“I took that as an opportunity to sketch other drivers and their cars.”