His girlfriend looks really young.

Meanwhile a white girl in Ohio was 10 minutes late getting home from school.

I cant listen to that shit when im depressed or ill paint the walls with my brains. I usually put on some Steven Wright.

You dont know me.

The automotive equivalent of a popped collar dipped in AXE Body Spray wearing a backwards upside down visor with sunglasses in it.

Its true, nobody wants to hear how happy anyone else is. All we wanna do is drink and watch “Schindlers List” while we listen to “Nine Inch Nails” forever.

Millenials. Sheeit.

....and hired Lucille II.

“My contracts void themselves. Do you understand??”

Didnt Lindsay Lohan already get busted for trying to UPS shit to herself?

Word.

“Zzzzzzzzzzzz.....”

OK, that was uncalled for.

There will still be plenty of gas stations for them to work in though.