I bring my guns to the desert to shoot at scorpions.

It’s really not the wildlife you need to worry about, it’s more so criminals. It’s always been said to me if you go hiking in Joshua Tree better have some protection.

Dangerous wildlife = Tweakers

They shoulda used it to rob some other hikers of THEIR water

I don’t know, I’ve spent a lot of time at Joshua Tree, 29 Palms and other places around there and have run into some walking, talking definitions of sketchy. Charles Manson and his crew used to frequent the area around Amboy Crater. I always had a gun.

He may have slapped some balls on that one. Bad form, dangerously low on the slap, and too close to the middle. Pick a cheek bro.

This is unsurprising to anyone who’s paid attention to the Colts for the past decade or so, since the only O-lines Jim Irsay cares about are crushed up oxycontin.

Bledsoe may hate it there, but at least it’s a dry hate.

Am I the only old person who remembers this? I was terribly confused when I heard about this movie. Also, has anyone seen my liver pills?

Of all the movie trailers I have seen, this is by far the worst and most outlandish. And all I can think to ask is; Does Andy Garcia have child support payments or what?

I remember thinking this about Megyn Kelly when she decided to speak up for maternity leave and her attitude is exactly what’s wrong with many conservatives:

“O’Reilly’s suggestion that no one ever complained about his behavior is false. I know because I complained.” @megynkelly on Bill O’Reilly”

This deserves to go up in Grandma’s living room, alongside Jesus and Obama.

Still, I would lose all faith in humanity if Gaffigan turned out to be a wife beater.

chicago resident telling us which narratives they’re sick of hearing about...

You’re gonna need a lot of lube. There’s 25 of ‘em.

I’m taking down the picture of my kids in my office and replacing it with this.

Ahem, were “those hands” locally sourced? Were they free range hands? Were they gluten free, and/or organic? What isle can they be found in at the local Whole Foods, or Trader Joe’s? Asking for a friend.