They all taste like sheetrock sprayed with new car scent.

And the stupid are again separated from their money.

Thats deep, son.

...

Almost any bridge.

Thats true, I forgot I had to get a new Rx.

Very sound advice, not purchasing and smoking drugs is a good first step.

I actually did replace the timing belt but that was about 6 months prior to the flood.

Meh, I turned out fine.

She probably only gets one refill so I wouldnt worry.

I was on liquid Oxy for two weeks after throat surgery and, man, I get why people get hooked.

That rythmic gymnastics shit is officially my new favorite Olympic thing.

...

I once drove through Houston flooding in my 1990 Ford Escort with water over the hood for several blocks and didnt stall out.

$85,000...?

STEP 1: Have your own apartment.

Remove any open containers from the vehicle and throw them into the woods.

“Theyre just wrestling I believe, yes, jolly good Olympic spirit, that! Rio is famous for its chaste and puritanical lifestyle which you can see on display here with these two who are not tickling the stiff one-eye.”

Fuck that motherfucker.

I get less angry when I hear about these asshole beating up their girlfriends.