In response to the question "Who really goes by Chip?," I concur with the floater of this theory:

Have You Been Dunked?

It's a safety thing. He's standing out in the snow, doing reports, so the neon orange beard serves as a safety cone, making traffic aware of him. Is that the real reason? Beats me!

Lynch's agent: "9 million signing bonus, 1 million base salary, 1 million roster bonus."

Double Turds!

This is a way overused phrase.

You came to the wrong place buddy. You can't call someone out on their shitty behavior unless that person is a conservative.

Uh... yeah. I wasn't sure I read that last line right since it seems to go against everything else the article says. Maybe I'm not up to date on my slang, but it sure sounded like "This company might go out of business because they treat their employees so badly, and therefore I'm going to go and buy a bunch of…

Her insanely overpriced (lol) schools forgot to learn her how to be even close to funny.

Aw, settle down, Missy.

OK, you finally are making me laugh.

Its sad you think this passes for wit.

Maybe you should just go on fucking with yourself.

Me going to check the mail.

Blah, blah.......America sucks.......blah, blah.......OK you dont need to talk anymore.

"Better cop all my deep V's before it's too late."

You have to be wary around bull terriers. At first it's fun, then you start waking up in back alleys covered in urine and vomit...

"market research revealed a strong demand for holiday hits all year long."

"I done paid cash money for this baby"

As long as they arent working they cant do any harm.