But Snoopy and Prickly Pete need their ice...

I dont have any more quarters for the car wash.

Any guy who hasnt gone “Ed Wood” a few times isnt living his best life.

Im a grown man now....

A normal amount, why?

Sounds like Floyd was.... comfortably numb.

How many underage hookers does the trunk hold?

MOM??

I didnt know he was into it.

I did this once at a Victorias Secret.

No its not wrong if you dont care about equality.

I guess the upside is he no longer has to live in Alabama.

This is my favorite...

One time I shot a motherfucker after he made the claim that he could party more harder than myself.

“...one of the men bumped into Hernandez at a club, spilling his drink. As a result, Hernandez allegedly waited for the men to leave the club, pulled up next to their vehicle, yelled “what up, [racial slur]?” and proceeded to shoot into their vehicle...”

Jesus, listening to these blubber heads prattle on about this nonsense makes me want to swallow a bullet.

It helps to be exposed to it at an early age.

...

“Hey! Stop flicking at my nose! Come on sweetie, pretend to love daddy for the nice reporters. You dont want The Liberal Media to think im a horrible father do you honey? OUCH! Goddamnit! Im not paying for your braces!”

“...is it possible that all parties are assholes here?”