Whoa Bill Simmons is still alive?!? I thought he was dead and his ghost was haunting HBO to make bland generic sports documentaries that don’t really shed any new light on sports events we already know about.

Look, if Run-DMC can flip The Monkees, “Mary Mary” and make it their own then I’m afraid we gonna have to let Cookout Mary borrow Missy’s “Work It”. I mean the woman came through with a backup dancer for crissakes. 

Donald Trump is the POTUS because America is now filled with a bunch of Jon Gruden’s who falsely believe that they are rebels because they openly mock statics that they don’t understand and mispronounce words they don’t know the meaning of.

Kyle Shanahan, Jed York along with 95.7 The Game all suck harder than Kiara Mia.

Don’t be too harsh on Niner fans defending DV because most are just bros who got busted and then unfairly kicked off their swim teams for molesting passed out co-eds behind dumpsters on Stanford’s campus.

Never been a Bears fan due to growing up in New Jersey but during my freshman year of high school for reasons I suppose all I wanted was an authentic Walter Payton jersey for X-Mas. Mom grabs one from the local sporting goods store and stoopid me beams with pride as I falsely believe that I’m rocking an authentic…

Meanwhile in the 8th level of Hell, a single tear glides down Jay Mariotti’s cheek as he proudly beams, “That’s my columnist.”while he and Adolph Hitler simultaneously perform a sex act on a pineapple anally.

Oh this is just so f’n typical of what Deadspin has now become. When Jarvis Landry gives a rousing speech to rally his teammates to give it their all everybody on this damn site goes out of their way to talk so highly about him, but when Javaris Crittenton gives that same speech about how not to mix colors with whites…

Jameis Winston is the only idiot possible to make Terry Bradshaw seem intelligent and sophisticated in comparison to.

I have been a casual watcher of The Affair because 3 of the 4 leads were in 3 of my all time favorite shows (The Wire, NewsRadio & Luther) and I personally never felt that any of those shows I mentioned ever got their proper respect for how good they were nor a proper sendoff when those series ended. That being said…

I think Satan is about to collect on his end of their bargain and Depp is acting about losing his soul.

Michael Kay being a feces you say? Then this must be a day that ends in “Y” I suppose.

Do recently unemployed New Yorkers who can no longer afford to pay for their Dominatrix services just become New York Jets fans in order to save money but still receive their pain kink fetish?

There is a woman in my wife’s Fantasy Football League that routinely picks the worst draft picks you could ever possibly imagine. For instance the year after the Broncos won the Super Bowl against Cam and the Panthers she picked with the #1 overall pick the Denver Broncos Defense. Her 2nd pick was the kicker from…

I have Rush Limbaugh, Alex Jones & Randi Rhodes on the line for you.

As Douchetastic as all the members of the Denver media are no athlete especially a football or basketball player will ever win the argument after threatening a member of said media.

Some of the highest grossing films in China are from the Wuxia genre which are all about a lone warrior from a lower caste fighting against impossible odds in order to save the day.

In the jungle, the mighty jungle
The lion sleeps eternally
Because Ray Lewis helped cover up to men being viciously murdered

He said Horse-tooth idiot, not horse-tooth jackass.

Man, ain’t nobody got time for Canada’s redheaded step brother!