slap hands! Slap hands!

Yo soy cura!

I mean, I get it. When you get to watch Nick Foles  in your locker room, it’s hard to to think that your backup quarterback is going to measure up. 

Accuracy, of course, being the sole measuring stick of people taking the piss out of a football team. I mean, sure, it references a well-publicized bit of history in a way that will make people laugh...but technically, Roethlisberger no longer has a radio show so it can’t be funny anymore, obviously.

Or apparently, in Antonio Brown’s case, bust AND video...of said bust

“Nobody expected the pull-outs we had” is also the desperate cry of high school prom chaperones trying to keep their students from getting pregnant by teaching effective contraception.

Trauma victims often suppress memories of pain and suffering. 

*Reading comments*: wow, people are supporting the victim, explaining why victims don’t always go to police, and being righteous about this. Hell, even Patriots fans are saying why they’re disgusted and want the Patriots to separate themselves from this man. Every time I think my lack of faith in humanity is never…

Behind the back ejaculate reception? 

I really wish that this was the last game of the week. How better to encapsulate the “100 years of football” than by going from the 1920's football on that dreadful Packers game to modern times with this game? This was everything that makes football interesting to watch. 

“It’s a normal protest outfit, find a new slant”

Low key math burn 

I don’t see what your problem is. How hard is it to recognize a protest on the state of Louisiana public education when you see one?

I think (but can’t prove) that it’s designed in coordination with Amazon. I accidentally wound up seeing SportsCenter today, and they did the AWS NextGen stats breakdown, and it had that same stupid “I drank a shit ton of absinthe and am going to pee into a snowbank” color.

The darker green is actually really helpful...for the “Madden” sky cam where players would actually block it out in many places.

So does Ben Roethlisberger 

This is the head of a man whose only runs are to Sheetz for appetizers.

I think the broader point is that people need to learn that one-size-fits-all management doesn’t always work for situations where you need people at their best. Shit, the Marine Corps, who you think would be all about absolute dominant leadership, teach their young NCOs about different forms of leadership, and that…

If there is a god, I hope they damn you you you you do do

Listen, according to the teams on paper, the Browns are undefeated this year.