Goof effort, but way to much groundwork.

Reporter: And you saw heard he did this?

To be fair, this is taken out of context. Before he got up on the table he quietly whispered, "If I did it..."

Winston: Fuck her right in the pussy!

Yeah, the NFL's only gonna get better next year.

If your intentions were to hurt us, embarrass us, make us feel alone, take all happiness away, you've succeeded on so many levels.

Exactly, it's not like he even has a job.

The arrested Texas Tech fans will have the book thrown at them. The UTEP fans, however, will be charged as miners.

This is a really funny comment.

This was really a thinly veiled attempt to get my hands on those blueprints.

Well, the Trojan is broken, but at least he pulled the little guy out in time.

These schools were listed at 1,459 and 1,460 on the top party schools list just behind "Jackson Elementary School" and "University of Phoenix"

Because the game was between two Christian schools and both teams were praying so hard, Jesus wasn't sure which team to pull for.

Man it's a pet peeve of mine when people make movie quotes and get the quote wrong. The actual quote is "I'm not even mad, that's amazing."

Thank you. Adam Levine sounds like an auto-tuned speak & spell. It's horrible.

You're doing the world an injustice if we don't get the Maroon 5 vocals too. I've heard cats mate with better pitch control.

The contrast between the two singers shows us how much difference high-end gear can make. In this case, the Beyta 87 is obviously better than the SMDH-58.

In fairness to Taylor, it is still preseason.

Listen, you asshole. Chocolate goes first, vanilla second and then you throw the fucking carton away.

Fun fact: when you stand your ground to protect yourself from FSU videos, you actually have to shoot yourself in the temple.