Even worse for C.J. was the following caller, Devin Kurant, dumping on him.

I still stand by that.

I still have deep scars from that Accord...

WAIT A MINUTE - what happened to why buy a new Honda Accord when I can buy a 1985 Jeep J10 pickup? 

I thought “poison pill” was some sort of Papa John’s pizza.

yes, all eight teams in the league are the Ballers

It’s pretty weird, almost certainly completely ineffective, and yeah, generally that kind of thing is considered grossly inappropriate in sports. If the only motivational tactic you can come up with is literally roughing up your own players, you’re a complete failure of a coach.

Is this Hamilton Nolan’s burner account?

You want Kroenke to go from being worth $8.3 billion to $8.28 billion simply for the sake of having a more competitive team? You’re a goddamn communist.

Or, you know, don’t care about what other kids are named, especially when they aren’t out of the ordinary?

I’m 100% sure that Hamilton fellow is out torching one of our dealerships right now.

Let me know when any of my FCA employees can do anything impressive and I’ll pay them accordingly.

“Better Ingredients. Better Pizza. I once saw a black dude getting dragged behind a truck, man.” 

The pizza dominoes quickly started to fall:

That’s my favourite track. That same day I managed a 1:39.74, also the driver not being so good.

i’ve always wanted to shave second seconds off my cars times.  the real pros shave off thirds.

Meh, I'd call that a draw.

Ok I take it all back -- I’ll lie about a Chevy to pay off my student loans 

And she has a driver’s license.

This woman is among us, just walking around not noticing shit.