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Awwwww yessss...
dunnaeknow
dunnaeknow
When people tell me I'm pretty, I'm like 'Pff, I am average. Maybe even above average if I've had a good night's sleep. But I'm not all that, by a long shot'.
Only one of those things makes me tense up and worry if I need to think about calling the cops. I've been sort of surprised other people find it entertaining.
Portlander here, confirming a Carrie Brownstein/ Taylor Schilling "seems like more than friends" sighting earlier this month.
Yes, the customer was dumb, yes she should be clear with her wishes and also should understand that a cappuccino is hot by default, but it was also pretty obvious that in her confused, blundering way she was aiming for a cold drink.
Everyone should buy up their name URLs. EVERYONE.
I thought I was safe until the one other woman with my exact name started posting a slew of bikini selfies and a heap of questionable content to her many social media accounts. I now own every iteration of (myname).com (etc.) and if I ever get pregnant, I'll buy up the…
I may dox myself with this one but room 27 in the Chalet Motel in Whitefish, MT is haunted as fuck. Here's how I know:
I stayed there one night with my boyfriend and immediately felt heavy energy in the room, specifically near the sink/bathroom. I'm super sensitive to energies so I try to ignore it, as we're kinda…
Withholding judgement until apl.de.ap chimes in with his opinion....
Oh dear sweet Mark, get ready for the hundreds of unsolicited wedding-related emails that will hit your inbox in 5... 4.... 3.... 2...
PSA to anyone going to one of these fairs: Use a fake or throw away email address when you register. Trust me on this.
Not a fan of huge penises either. I have a wonderful ex who I would totally get back together with if not for his gigantic penis. It's like a Kleen Kanteen water bottle that no amount of lube could tame...
Well, she's smart by mentioning multiple times that the money is for her children. It's easier to say no to an acquaintance with credit card debts when you're obviously saving it for four childrens' future.
I remember reading about a lottery winner who gave a set one-time gift to friends and distant family members while also setting up modest recurring payments to close family (it was something like $1k once for friends and coworkers, $5k annual payment for close family). She essentially said that she was happy to share…
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For me, it was Labyrinth:
When I ended an incredibly toxic relationship that was manipulative and borderline abusive, my ex threw the most amazing fit intended to incite anger and jealously in me. It would have worked, as it did many times before, but this time a weird part of my brain clicked and all I could hear was…
Anchovies are magical manna sent from heaven.
Yes, yes, and more yes. My parents used to keep extra tins of anchovies in the pantry so the family could order pizza how they liked it while I added my after-market anchovies to my slices. Anchovy lovers unite!
Somehow foot fetishists get mocked all the time but they're the most giving (I've found a lot of foot guys have a strong bond with their mother) while being the furthest away from your sexual organs. Want free pedicures? Done. Want endless foot massages without even having to ask? Done. Want someone to care if your…
My great-aunt was a hoarder (like a real, real hoarder) but we still had to visit her home because, well, family. Being the polite elderly lady she was, she'd always offer us food when we visited and we would always politely decline for obvious reasons. One time, because of travel times and familial obligations, we had…
You should have been able to remove the Taylor Swift tag and that should have been it. However, I empathize with you because Etsy can be a cruel beast that closes shops without warning or dialog.