Key distinction:

It’s important to remember at times like this that tech moguls like Vivek Ranadive are smarter and more #innovative than any of us luddite philistines who still value outdated things like winning.

Closers and bullpens are not the same thing.

Fool, do you even watch baseball? No. Seriously. Do you? Or do you just uncritically swallow, then parrot whatever Ben Lindbergh churns out and mistake your friends eyes glazing over as an indicator of your brilliance?

That was a lot to write to not make any cogent point at all.

You have got to be shitting me.

The only stats that matter: Royals Def. Mets, 4 games to 1.

Can the Deadspin staff and the Jezebel staff just bone and get it over with?

Say! I wonder if big time college football (and the NFL, for that matter)is a full blown corruption machine that infects everything it comes into contact with?

The thing about Broner: Nobody in his age group had more physical gifts or a more credible amateur pedigree than him. And now, he’s entering—ENTERING —his prime years as a complete afterthought because he keeps getting absolutely trounced by people who are simply more serious and dedicated to their craft. It’s a…

“So what?”

Just...eternal LOL...

Your understanding of both baseball and math is based on a flawed assumption: that all baseball offenses are identical. Said another way, you’re saying “My models don’t match reality! Reality must be flawed!"

No. Not necessarily. You could also be employing a offensive strategy that exploits bullpens and weak defenses, while roughly 25-28 other teams employ a strategy of “strike out 14 times a game and occasionally hit 3 run homers.”

That’s hella weird. I was pretty sure that baseball games were 9 innings, even World Series games.

Let’s talk reader to editor for a minute:

It never really occurred to me (though maybe it should have) that of COURSE the Pope’s twitter feed would be a magnet for the worst people on the internet. Listed, for everyone’s benefit, in the following order.

Okay, is it mediocrity or, rather, is it fallibility that is revitalizing the division?

This is the one and only NFL offseason story worth giving one iota of a shit about.

Oh wow! NFL coaches posed for a group photo today!!! Really?!? That’s so interesting and relevant totally not insipid.