Dude, 2011 was TWO years ago. That is pretty recent information.

Calling something "chemically altered" is a huge red herring. I added more water to my fruit smoothie - it's now chemically altered. Literally everything you put into your mouth is made up of chemicals. Oxygen is a chemical.

He's probably pissed about that too.

And in the very least, they must pass mandatory rudimentary science courses in biology, physics and chemistry before they are even allowed near the "Science Committee".

Holy shit, could they try any harder to alienate 50% of the population? I am beyond offended by the things these men are saying. I am not here to "complement" a man.

Doug's voice is all whiney and high pitched. It's so wrong.

Oh my gosh, I meant squeeing. I am not Elmyra!

I would stil be squeezing at a pile of baby rats, but then I squee at a pile of just about any kind of baby, so...

Yes! One of the best things about being an athiest, for me at least, is that I just cannot reconcile a belief in ghosts or spirits. I believe our atoms get recycled and I believe that our souls are really intricate neurological synapsids, so there really is nothing left to linger. Bring on those discounted properties!

Drag queens are fucking fabulous, but couldn't you, you know, teach your child that yourself?

I stopped hanging out with a friend after her really weird behavior at a drive-thru. Like yelling, blasting music, swearing. It was so rude and disrespectful that I just could. not. anymore.

I was under the impression that hoarding was a symptom of a multitude of already defined disorders. My takeaway is that the DSM is here to confuse and confound. Hats off to psychologists and psychiatrists that can interpret this thing.

Tweeting the NYPD about your friend is really a shit way to go about helping.

At least it was one of those take, "I'm sorry, but..." apologies. Sorry, not sorry. That's what I'm taking home from this because otherwise :(((((

He TWEETED to the NYPD? What a shit friend. Is picking up a phone and speaking really too much for this "friend" to handle? It's not that hard dude, and the world wouldn't think you're an asshole.

I'd say the death penalty is appropriate, but only because he brought it up himself.

Watching that gave me the best laugh I've had all month. So thank you for that, Joe Francis. You stupid, stupid idiot.

Neko Case made me spit-laugh. Again. I think I'm kind of in love.

Ellipses are...

And if you didn't believe that, you would kill yourself? I truly feel sorry for you.