You don’t have to be here, reading the articles, if you don’t like the snark!

*tapdances off stage*

Carrie took place in Chamberlain, though (and of course, Chamberlain was pretty much destroyed at the end of the book). I mean, I don’t know if they’re gonna stick to Castle Rock-specific stories...and I guess the Shawshank reference means not so much...so ignore me. It’s fine. Really, I’m fine.

Nice attempt at twisting this one around, but you didn’t quite manage it, did you? Good luck next time, little one.

Shucks. It’s so important to me please you, too.

Your medal’s in the mail, hero.

Boy, you told me. I hang my head in shame because your star count is higher. You’re so fucking cool.

yawn. try harder.

Jesus, this fanbase got fucking insufferable fast. A week after our worst contemporary mass shooting and THIS is the shit these basement-dwelling neckbeards care about enough to fight and whine over. AMERICA.

Implications aside, this was fucking hilarious. HOLA SENORITA!

yawn, fuck off back to Tumblr or grow a sense of humor or both.

awwww, someone’s feelings got hurt.

Did Amber Tamblyn eat David Cross?

McG’s a tryhard.

The Jack Black cameo was perfect and hilarious - but that’s about it. :(

MOTHERFUCKER, I’m tryin’ to watch The Lost Boys!

Recommended for ‘C Toms’

I probably watch it EVERY MONTH.

“You can challenge your friends on social media to take the pledge”

Reader, I chortled. I didn’t snicker, I didn’t guffaw. I chortled.

HOW DO YOU DO FELLOW KIDS?

Can I say how glad I am that these Emma Stone-as-Asian/whitewashing jokes refuse to die? They make my soul dance.

“...more than most of his peers, the Drive star is ideally suited to playing a mechanical man with something stirring deep inside him.”

See also: ‘limited acting range.’