Most of you are really fucking dumb it seems. Keeping the door open for someone who follows behind IS NOT THE SAME as opening the door for that person and letting them walk ahead of you as you hold the door for them. That's what Simmons is talking about. Fuck…

Yeah, but GUNS!!!!

WAR ON WOMEN!

Where do you live?

Holy fuck, you're actually serious.

Only an insufferable Liberal could think such a thing.

It takes a dumb person to conflate selfishness with self-interest.

So, The Daily Show for non-Liberals?

Yeah, not like Liberalism, which will SAVE US ALL!

So, using that as your basis, which Liberals turn you off?

No! They're asshole Libertarians! FUCK THEM! I once met Rachel Maddow and she totally had no time for me and blew me off, even though we were both just waiting for the subway. You know what? It didn't matter, she's just so smart, a national treasure, she can treat me any way she wishes!

I know! How dare he support the right of individual freedom! So ANNOYING! I'd much rather some talking head on MSNBC telling me how great the government is and how they know better than I how to run my own fucking life.

Girls who have pussies that smell like fish make me sick. Can you get the government to ban smelly pussy? Asshole.

You are such a fucking pussy. Must be wonderful being your friend.

Where do you live?

I wonder what else makes you feel sick.

Oh, shut the fuck up.

Leno may suck ass, but he is miles better than Fallon or Seth Meyers. Those guys are black holes of comedy. Kimmel and Conan are genuinely funny people. Letterman used to be funny, but his shit is dead tired.

Anyone with even a slight interest in football can see this movie for what it is, a completely artificial, fake piece of bullshit. It's clear the writer never listened to sports talk radio, even if he says he does. It's clear he's never known any actual football fans.