A dozen kids from my grade have died in the last three years from opiates. It’s pretty surreal.

I was at a minor league game the other day because a friend’s company let us have their box, and a foul ball came into our seats. We gave it to the kid with his dad sitting below/in front of the box seats, because we aren’t psychotic man children.

Yup. So basically this family is getting his body back and a chance to say goodbye. The chances of him making any meaningful recovery would be slim under the best of circumstances.

No Grizzlies/Spurs coverage? That was easily the best game of the playoffs so far.

I never really got the Chris Pratt crushes. Maybe it’s because my aversion to anyone remotely man-childish borders on blind panic. Whenever I picture getting married and having a family, there’s this little voice whispering in my ear “it’s a trap. You’re the maid now and you’re supposed to be grateful for it....”

WOULD HUG*.

There was a really great piece about someone being hit by a bus once. Forget who wrote it, but it was really good!

I blame the parenting. Who raises a psychopath and doesn’t tell them to not keep a journal?

Silly dog. ^

You remind everyone of a certain classmate in their past.

I was in a frat... they’re all pretty homoerotic. That said, kinda a dick move to put wrought iron furniture in a shower and rust it all to shit.

We would then sit around ... butt ass naked ... and showering

I assume it’s named after the cream cheese brand?

I was just in Georgia on vacation (down from MA). At a playground with my pregnant wife and twin 2-yr old girls. A father of boy/girl on a bench points to my wife’s belly and says “Are you gonna get the next one right?” She asks “what do you mean?” He says “You know - y’all gonna get it right and have a boy?” My wife…

This may come as a surprise to you, but ALL magic tricks are fake.

Sure, but can’t we agree that people who fire guns in the air in celebration should be beaten within an inch of their life? Or at the very least be mocked and ostracized by everyone else.

Nice catch on 80k’s comment, you’re quite the voracious reader.

What if he never gets to enjoy a steak again ? So sad....

No. Fuck you.

Trump has been sued for violating the fair housing act, cheated several cities and even several countries out of millions in property taxes (sometimes after his property renovations caused hundreds of thousands dollars worth of damages to the surrounding areas) bragged about his propensity to sexually assault any…