Staying true to your user tag, I’ll give you that.

When Tesla screws up: Jalopnik goes out of its way to remind people how bad of a misstep it is. Repeatedly.

As someone with a 2013 60kwh Model S, whose range is ~170 miles, I encounter some sort of need to hit a charger about twice a year. If my range was 300 miles, as the newer models are, that number drops to zero. The difference between zero and two isn’t great, but it’s hugely mitigated by the availability of…

pull the dick off a chocolate mouse

Is there any situation that a car dealership can’t make worse with its avaricious greed and lack of regard for anything other than profitability?

You’re entire premise from the very ground level is wrong; the other option is NOT to have had the same cards for the same price but with the line of code enabled; it’s to only have the more expensive option available. So no, these people wouldn’t be escaping with their 75kWH batteries, they’d be escaping in some sort…

No, it’s not. Because in both cases, you’d know up front that the range is limited, or that only six cylinders are working. You can pay to upgrade. Or refuse the deal, and just not buy the car.

I hesitantly clicked on some of their daily transmission youtube videos recently, weary of them being total clickbait, but thankfully “Forcing Pizza Boy to do Burnouts” was actually a delivery guy from Dominoes doing burnouts and having fun. They got me to subscribe.

Ah sh!t car. What a beauty. And the hertlife is the best life. Before they did the daily transmissions, I only knew them for their gymkhana videos. But now I binge watch them every week

His content has actual facts and figures and is short....these personalities just talk about themselves for 20 minutes to make a few grand on a video and people don’t have anything better to do than to waste their time watching it.

3rd: So how exactly does a parent remember to dress a child before leaving the house, yet forgets the child is in the back seat prior to leaving the vehicle?

The warranty period doesn’t start until the car is sold. If it has technically never been sold, the warranty should still be valid. If the dealer bought the car and then stored it, then you’re absolutely right - warranty long since expired.

No one wants an overpriced, horridly unreliable Italian sedan?

“I just buy everything used on Craigslist. No taxes or dealer markup when you buy private party “

You gotta learn to drive with the fear. And there ain’t nothing more god damned frightening than driving with a live falcon in the car, Ricky Bobby.

What the fuck is that art class bullshit stickered onto the glove box?

I’m so relieved we finally solved our drugs, terrorism and human trafficking problems so that law enforcement can focus on the things that really matter.

It also shares its engine block with the Ford F-150 EcoBoost. This fact alone will cause many people—exotic car purists—to dismiss the GT as not being a real member of the exotic car world.

Seriously, this. I know mine smells like cherry blossoms and unicorn farts, but...that's my stink. Not someone else's. Makes a HUUUUUUUGE difference.

Gotta go against you on that "don't bring your own helmet" thing. Don't know where you're at, Alex, but there's no way in hell I'm sharing a helmet with the general Los Angeles public, especially after I spent good money on my own. I say bring your own helmet and don't talk shit.