"I will bring myself sexual pleasure later, while thinking about this with great respect."

— Numerous Peyton Manning press conferences, 1995-98.

I don't blame her for trying to squash the situation before it took root.

Nothing good can happen when you drink like a Wisconsinite and think like a Floridian.

"Both of the attackers, who are brothers".

They don't look it on the ice because it's not spring yet.

Well, they did have a grand Wizard at shortstop

Lol what? He ran full steam ahead knowing Courtois was guaranteed the ball. Unless you can jump over the keeper coming out in the box, you slow the fuck down or run out of the way.

All of it was impressive, but this part made me go "whoa".

"Do you have a national championship ring?"

Roberto Demente

Oh, her? Don't worry about her; she does this at every game. That's Peggie the Pirate, and she wanders into the dugout at every game to complain to Danny Murtaugh that "there's too many of those people on the team these days." Adorable, really.

Should have just written the Panthers a Deere John letter.

+9/11

The NFL still has a problem if it has set itself up to be an arbiter of which religions are legitimate and which ones aren't. Perhaps Antonio Brown worships a god who requires him to spin the football like a top after every touchdown.

IT PUTS THE APOLOGY ON ITS PODCAST OR IT GETS THE HOSE AGAIN.

I love New Vegas but the strip does suck. This is what I was told it would be: