As usual with Leno, things got messy when Jay changed his mind and bailed halfway through, just as RGIII was working up a good rhythm.

What a tough morning. I officially filed the paperwork to change their names, but my kids' teachers still refuse to call them "Scotchita 1" and "Scotchita 2."

Oh, changing our names halfway through our lives ... the importance of anniversaries ... you know, typical Jezebel stuff.

[marks the date]

My move is to do what I should have done in the first place - ignore an idiot.

Drew has 33,969 followers.

Fat- , I am thrilled that you closed the "open marriage" debate with your wife and that it is working well ... you are an inspiration to all of us. But, as a fellow frequent target on MKM, I am begging you - sober up and use proper sentence structure and capitalization on DUAN, while avoiding obvious jokes during the…

That is an easy excuse, and completely untrue.

I hear Craig James will be between jobs as well - perhaps you could get together and beat a few hookers to death to kill time?

I know it's a formula. And I know I shouldn't laugh at it anymore. Yet, I still laugh. +1

"There are PR firms for what I needed"

I am with you on Manu and Parker. Watching Ginobili take his bald head and frail-looking body through the lane and find improbable openings and angles is just motivating enough to convince old white guys like me that we could still be successful in a pick-up game (note: we can't). And Parker is everything Rondo hopes…

The Spurs are the most entertaining team in the league - they are incredibly precise and still athletic enough to be spectacular on occasion. The fact that Phil Jackson gets (roughly) infinitely more praise than Gregg Popovich is infuriating.

No per diem and a ridiculous spending limit? The next round of Ferraris is on me!

Hey, it is good to remember that initial joy of travelling. And, to be fair, there are still good moments (e.g., I just had my first good TexMex in a year), but it does get tiring after a few decades. But, enjoy for now.

[fast forward 20 years]

Yes, woks are great ... and you have to season them and never scrub them ... and various other cooking related observations.

Or, just show up one morning and offer to help on the assembly line. At the end of your first day, sign a piece of paper guaranteeing you medical benefits for life and 7% annual raises.

I know it is obvious advice, but if you know anyone who knows anyone who might hire you, you should spend 90% of your effort working those angles rather than applying to jobs "cold." In a tough environment like this one, almost all of the jobs will be secured through networking. You don't need a deep relationship to…

Seconded on Hakeem. I'll add Lew Alcindor - both for getting the dunk outlawed temporarily* and for blazing a path on confusing Muslim conversions and horribly acted (though funny) movie cameos.