When i was just an innocent 12 year old mormon kid, my neighbor friends asked me if i had ever masturbated before, i said no not knowing what it was.

They explained that i just needed to get some soap for lubrication and rub my dick.

What they didn’t emphasize was they were talking about liquid soap or lotion. So that…

Seems illegal.

THE GAME CAME OUT YESTERDAY AND THERES ALREADY PRO CIV PLAYERS

Johnny Cash once sat at the table next to mine at the Bottom Line on night. He had the courtesy to not pester me the entire evening. I remember giving him a grateful nod as I left.

Colin Kaepernick can recite “Hurricane” wearing a leopard-skin pill box hat.