Take your star, you jerk.

Getting tackled by a girl is nothing to be ashamed of. Now getting tackled by a kicker...

To quote Bomani Jones:

In either of those situations, you should make yourself appear larger by raising your arms above your head, or raising a jacket or shirt, until the hotel staff offers a room upgrade, or at least complementary breakfast for the duration of your stay.

I’ll just lift up my leg and wipe the rim off with my sock, then go about my business as if nothing happened.

The Ardrey Kell High School talent show: You pay for the whole seat, but you’ll only need the edge