He’s Canadian and got stuck in the snow. Isn’t that considered a felony? Do they strip you of your Tim Horton’s rewards card, or least send you to a jail that doesn’t serve poutine? How is this handled?

or just done a sick kickflip and said forget it to his worries

The saddest thing is that a skateboard makes a decent improvised shovel. If he had put it to other use, he probably could have dug freed the car from the snowbank without calling a tow truck.

Leaning to a NP on this one, but a shaky one at best. Good clean 996, the headlights do not bother me at all. I’d want to know more about the changes to the internals to make sure it wasn’t just “slap a SC on it and let it roll”, but 425 to the rear while rolling your own is crazy scary in the best way!

Or a pretzel, just for consistency.

They like jump out the water and slap against you coyly and you can just sit back and grab the ones you want but at some point you get sick of eating salmon, but you still take nibble out of each one anyway because there are starving bears in NorCal with no salmon at all.

I like this logic. It’s so pleasingly circular.

There is no way I’m Googling “fingermouthing” at work.

Yep, my 16 year old sister confirmed that this is because they are hyper aware of their online presence and want to be in control of it. It’s also a signal to your friends not to tag you either, which I get but...why are you posing for a picture in the first place? Why not just decline the photographer or turn your…

oh, I know this! They do it to avoid it being automatically turned into an emoji image. I guess to maintain the purity of the colon-parenthesis combination.

Who should Trump consult about his problem with leaking?

This is actually a pretty easy explanation. Most social media places have emojis now, so :) turns into one. A backwards smile means it can actually show up as an oldschool text smile. (:

I am black. I have been to Medford (Ashland is really the college town but Medford is seedier and right next door). Can confirm; if you don’t mind being objectified it’s like being a bear in a salmon run.

That sounds like a like the kind of place that would lead to all sorts of fucked up stuff happening.

Can he just choke on a chicken bone and fucking die already.

What’s the deal with them making smiley faces backwards. For instance:

A long time ago, when I was in my early 20s, I was visiting Denver with a bunch of work people. The ladies of the group wanted to go to this “really popular” nightclub, okay fine.

I had a group of friends in the late 90s (all black guys—this is relevant) who used to drive every other weekend from Sacramento to fucking Medford, Oregon, to go to an under 21 nightclub (I don’t remember if the minimum age was 18 or 16, but I think 18). When I inquired as to why in the fuck they would drive like 5…

...an under-18 nightclub

Or they didn’t get permission from their parents to go out, so they don’t want to get grounded.