The Mean Things They're Saying About Our Hall of Fame Ballot

1. Being hit by a car

You're the fucking worst commenter on this site, which is an incredible feat considering the competition. Seriously, you fucking suck. Take your stupid fucking thoughts elsewhere.

MILLENNIAL YEARNING
or: 1,250 WORDS CONCERNING MY JUNK – A PRETENTIOUSLY LONG-TITLED PERSONAL ESSAY ABOUT ENNUI, ANXIETY AND WHITE PRIVILEGE IN THE 21^st CENTURY
By Wendel Clark Bar

“Just chill the fuck out,” I say to my penis.

Dear Iguodalanodon,

You did? Awesome. Let's keep testing your psychic powers and see where this goes. Okay, I've got one. No cheating and clicking the link before you guess.

To: Aaron - xob of snug not in basement. now in llifdnal. writing in edoc like u said. evol uoy.

Todd Haley is involved in a patent lawsuit against the makers of Truck Nutz

This is going to sound made up, but there was actually an ancient professor at Mizzou who wrote an entire book about the history of punting in football. Sadly he never taught me his ways. I'd guess 30 yards? With a stiff wind?

If this woman was a potential hurdle to Lolo's success as a bobsledder, I'm sure she hit her.

It's "cool" to see the Haitians "running" because it looks like they need to stick to bobbsledding!

And, according to FOX News, I can now marry this horse.