Had the Presidential election gone the other way, passenger possessions would be considered “spoils” and a percentage would required to go to a familiar charity.

I see you’ve been through the TSA training process.

That bear will do *anything* for marmalade.

Somewhere, Roger Goodell just got a raging erection from the idea of having this kind of power.

Does the TSA ever have an auction to sell all the shit they confiscate?

Probably the parents were looking for an excuse to get rid of the giant thing that their kid insisted on bringing everywhere. Grandma and Grandpa bought it and little Taylor throws a tantrum any time he has to leave it behind. So they let it come to the airport, knowing they can pin the blame on the horrible people…

The real story is how some kids won’t be getting their cocaine that uncle Carlos tried to smuggle inside a stuffed bear. 

Great, now the TSA has made John McClane irritated.

Then the bear will be forced to become a prostitute to survive, and will ultimately die from a drug overdose. Merry Christmas, y’all!