Because there are three brown guys at their job now and things are getting out of hand.

I took a middle school computer class in, like, 1994 and remember being impressed as fuck when I learned that I could use MS Paint to add recognizable fonts to images. How the fuck is this thing 15 years newer than the knockoff Lion King logos we were making back then?

Bran van 3000's "Drinking in LA"

My mother gave me that movie because I used to watch Little People, Big World and she took that to mean that I had some kind of fixation on little people.

Meh. My money's still on him when it comes to beating Hepburn's Oscar record.

YEAH, YOU KNOW ME

I lied about seeing the Cash Money/Ruff Ryders tour to impress a guy in my freshman astronomy class. I might be able to upgrade that lie to a half-truth if the closest date weren't 8 hours away.

I feel like you're ignoring the role sexuality played in Elvis' charisma for a lot of these. It's kind of impossible to divorce Elvis' sexual impact from his appeal, no? You're saying that each one of these artists is his equal on that front?

Could you give examples of one dozen Elvis equivalents?

Pop music has had hundreds of Elvis-level charismatic figures?

C'mon

Pac surely would have given Will Smith a run for his money in the "First Rapper to get an Oscar Nomination" race, especially if he'd landed Forrest Gump .

Only if that rule also applies to duel inductees of the the Country/Blues/Gospel/etc. halls of fame too.

CINDY, COME GET YOUR PEOPLE

I'll smoke whatever it takes to get back to that time.

I have to admit, I'm really disappointed in whoever wrestled Trump's phone away from him this morning.

God, this hacker is wack as fuck.

It'll be excused by this Friday night though, right?

Jean Grae's "Kill Screen (Steve Wiebe)"

Also: those episodes where Urkel would demonstrate his basketball prowess, and everybody would forget about it.