Their breasts change their center of mass so dramatically that it's unfeasible to ask them to carry a storyline.

I don't really care for Terrence Howard, but I like Gabourey and Taraji and I wish they worked more. Here's hoping the finished product is better than this synopsis makes it sound.

"Mambo #5" was a few decades old by the time Lou Bega got around to it.

I'm impressed so far. I couldn't tell whether the cheesiness of the Spaceship of the Imagination was an intentional shout-out to the original or if such a thing is just impossible to render in a non-cheesy way. I just wish we could have gone more than 5 or 6 minutes without a commercial break.

I think she's purposefully trying to emphasize her "normalness," maybe even as a reaction to the fact that she's not an Allison Williams, and that it would take a huge amount of compromise to turn herself into one. Not wanting that is perfectly fine, but I think she's buying into some Homer Simpson "can't win, don't…

Her hair looked the best I've ever seen it in that "Ooh Child" sketch. I don't get why she's so attached to that bob, but I definitely think she's clueless about how to style herself and too proud/resistant/whatever to seek out professionals.

After a while you just accept it, like Cordelia Chase.

I don't think any joke we could make will cut deeper than "recent Gossip Girl guest".

He didn't gloat or say anything mean-spirited, but it was sad in an "I feel kind of sorry for this guy who is reading an unused Oscar speech to a bunch of 20-year-olds who are more interested in an Iron Man 3 trailer" kind of way.

Zamunda to live. Molvania for vacation.

Is Chiwetel Ejiofor really an unknown? I didn't know how to pronounce his name before last year, but Love Actually and American Gangster had to promote him to at least Hey! It's That Guy status.

Bradley Cooper's acceptance speech during last year's ceremony is one of the most hilariously sad things I've ever seen. Daniel Day-Lewis ruined every other opportunity he had that year, but he wasn't going to let the setting stop him from making some Very Important Comments about Mental Illness.

Ouch.

I am thrilled to hear this news. *McQueen clap*

[F]or a couple years (the telecasts airing in 2009 and 2010), all acting
clips were replaced with a potentially interesting but ultimately
awkward setup in which other actors would wax rhapsodic over individual
nominated performers.

Nah, it was the soap clip again. Not to say her work in that scene wasn't excellent, but it kind of puzzled me that I never saw anyone use the clip that you mentioned, because it's way more Oscar-y. It's not really a spoiler, but it is pretty much her only other scene that you could air on TV.

There was a riot on the streets. Tell me, where were you?

*warsh

Like most things Emmy-related, this is Modern Family's fault.

Kenan's Cosby is just Cliff Huxtable.