You win.

I say I’m never going to drink again and I’m never going to smoke again on a daily basis. Doesn’t make them true though.

This reminded me of my product idea from a few days ago. Band-Aids that already have Neosporin on them. They may already have them, but I’m too lazy to do research and I don’t feel like having my dreams crushed.

“not everyone gets Showtime”

I’m a former opioid addict so I guess I just kinda figured it out earlier.

I was referring to his drug problem. Sorry, I’m a former addict and I can easily tell when someone has a problem.

I’m having a Sixth Sense moment. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON!!

Watt, you made the worst internet mistake. Never respond to “that guy”. That’s like responding to the “grays” on Kinja.

“was the first to recognize that anything with the star was wrong”

I vote that there be a daily post where everyone just posts pictures of their animals. That’d make me happy.

I think I love Samantha Mewis.

District Line Testicles Man

As usual as jean shorts can look, which isn’t much.

I was curious to see what the “unusual cut-off shorts” looked like.

I never thought I would willingly click on a link to see an old man’s balls. But I did, and that’s how I’m rewarded.

Given how old he looks, I’m surprised they’re not hanging any lower. Good for him.

They should have tried to CATch her first.

But not nearly enough.

Ugh, if you don’t know it explains why you don’t get the joke.

You should become familiar with the term “satire”.