Sounds like a 911 conspiracy theory...

Does “Shit tonne plus a dozen Timbits of horsepower” work?

90% sure he means pants humidity.

The most important search term is site:craigslist.org

I want to take it to Whole Foods

No, you were right. Pingo can also be used as slang for dick. I’ve always heard it as “pinga,” though, and didn’t fully read what I’d found until after I posted.

Then again, the limits of my Spanish are just far enough out there to either get my ass kicked or my ass laid, depending on who I say what I know to.

They make it a lot easier to follow the admonition to “come in the name of the Lord.”

John 7 60: behold my cylinders, which shall bankrupt all common men

Jay Leno has always been more likely to make me cry, rather then make me laugh.

They REALLY like Jesus. Like, A LOT.

Um, why is there a row of dildos under the Jesus sign?

If you want to write a letter to Margaret Foulke:

Well, their message worked, the man is now a proud member of the Korean Kar Klub.

“Everybody likes sex, why do people get so upset about rape?”

This is a real Kia concept car. It’s the Kia Forte Koup Mud Bugger Concept. Kia. What are you doing right now? Can it be selling me this?

We’re dicks! We’re reckless, arrogant, stupid dicks. And the Film Actors Guild are pussies. And Kim Jong-il is an asshole. Pussies don’t like dicks, because pussies get fucked by dicks. But dicks also fuck assholes - assholes who just want to shit on everything. Pussies may think they can deal with assholes their way,…

“The Economical Solution,”

Wrong. Read the link you posted.