Small quibble — the Buckets weren’t American. Charlie bought his Wonka bar because he found 50 pence in the snow (children’s librarian here).

i’m still running ios 9.2.1, and I can do this. take your trolling android fanboy bullshit elsewhere

Sherman burned it first.

The snap count would be anywhere from one to three (but never four, that would be too crazy).

obligatory

Charcoal is wonderful, but you know what else is pretty good? Turning a knob, pressing a button, and having a hot grill ten minutes later and then not having to deal with a cauldron of ashes a couple hours after the meal. That’s decent, too.

About 10 years ago, I went to a big, fancy wedding for my wife’s friend and it was basically just an expensive wedding in a box. It sucked so incredibly hard, but they looked like they were having a blast. The DJ sucked (the DJ always sucks), the food was bad, cash bar, and this was all after an hour Catholic…

It would be even better if they kept arguing to the music...

It isn’t the same if the door doesn’t fly open first. RIP, KSK.

So say we all.

“That’s, ah...I guess 3rd and long.”

If you drowned off the coast of Delaware, would there be better tax advantages for your body being discovered on the shore or floating in international waters?

Maybe, but they’ll be paying full price for tickets.

Your team is owned by a man who is buried so deep in the Presidents bucket of extra crispy that he was named ambassador to the United Kingdom.

Here’s the thing. I’m a Jets fan. Being a Jets fan has been kind of trying over my life, with no real success or superstars to cheer for and really just a height of punching above our weight to get killed in a couple AFC championship games.

Was onboard with everything you said then you said “mansplain”.

Every time I see a lego Millennium Falcon, I think of this clip. And I laugh.

It’s amazing the Seahawks still seem emotionally scarred after Super Bowl 49. It’s been a few years now.

For the record, J.J. Watt is even less backwoods than I am, and I’m not backwoods. I grew up in West Allis, Wisconsin, a defunct factory town/suburb of Milwaukee. See also, white trash. J.J. grew up in fucking PEWAUKEE, which is fancy as shit, comparatively. Sure, he’s got a wooded lot because people who live in…