Hi, fellow Eagle Scout here, and you’re wrong.

I believe the Deadspin.com Manual of Style dictates that the event in question be referred to as “Ballghazi”, and never as “deflategate”.

Walk to an automatic door and see if it opens for you

Did Amazon Prime let their dog shit in your yard and not pick it up or something?

Counter-point:

Neither.

Miller’s Crossing is great and all, but I still miss the Gratuitous Simpsons Quote of the Week.

Donate to a damn charity for fucks sake. They are a much better steward of your money than the government ever will be.

Only way that night gets more Chambana is a stop at Merry Anne’s for a diner stack.

For years, my dad was a last-minute Christmas gift shopper, and would do everything a day or two before Christmas. Then out of the blue 10 years ago, he noted how my mom constantly complained about their vacuum cleaner being old, not very powerful, and unwieldy for navigating the stairs of their house. So over the…

Dude. Some of us are reading this during lunch. Don’t be putting mental pictures like that out there. My burrito bowl doesn’t come with a side of brain-bleach.

(Also, bravo. Great comment.)

“Fuck Jimmy John’s” is something I can get behind because their food is garbage and they’re clearly in the pocket of BIG MAYO, but specifically “Fuck Jimmy John Liautaud” is a statement that can’t be made often enough.

My parents insisted early that my nephew (and their only grandchild) call them Gae-Gae and Pa-Pa. I have since re-taught the child to call them “Gangy” and “Pop-Pop”.

I would rather live in a truly free nation, where the basic humanity and rights of all people are acknowledged and respected, then live in a questionably safer tyranny that attempts to deny the basic humanity of people who may be of a different race or religion then me.

The stars say otherwise.

Dude is 61, wait till Trump keeps raising the Social Security age benefits. Soon it will be 69.

Are you familiar with how the First Amendment works? The commenters on this post are not the government...

Last year, with her infinity scarf, fleece vest, booties, broken iPhone, Pumpkin Spice Latte, and strong opinions about fall, my dog was textbook definition of “Basic Bitch”