Up until today, I had no idea that shorts were considered to be inappropriate attire to some people. I’m not talking about cargo shorts or jorts, plaid shorts or salmon color shorts - just straight up shorts with normal pockets. Just navy blue, slate or god forbid, khaki shorts. My mind is just blown about this. I…

What’s wrong with wearing shorts in casual settings when it’s warm outside? Do you wear jeans when it’s 95 degrees out and you aren’t going to work? I feel like I’m going insane with this question.

Animal control’s just going to kill it too...

Depends on where you are. If it’s an office or other public place that you’re new in or just visiting, sure. But when you work on the same floor for months/years you get a pretty good sense of whether a disabled pooper is gonna show up or not.

Handicap stall all day, brother.

Your answer to the guy with the vaguely annoying friend-of-fiencee was the best answer, Albert. It was the very, very best answer. It was a real-life answer, the answer of a wise real-life man. It should be read by all members of all marriages, because there’s something in it for everyone.

Thank you for that answer.

I have no idea what this means, but I approve.

Well that doesn’t actually solve anything my friend! Reporting on feb 21st or March 14 isn’t going to make it nicer in Minneapolis April 1st

This is a bad take. Brewers’ games are actually pretty great. The city always supports the team through the good and bad. Thousands of fans fill the parking lots for pre-game tailgating, and Miller Park is a cool stadium.

Ever been?

I’ve read this story three times and I still can’t figure out what the fuck is going on. I’m just going to assume that all three of these people are probably assholes.

Well from now on I amtraking his career for any further mishaps like this!

We’ll update this post if we figure out what the hell’s going on.

I am here for you!

You seem like someone who both has good takes and is fun at parties. Please DM me your info so that I can invite you to my next party.

what former player, who has cred, would want a job as a ref????

I...can’t really disagree with you there.

Fuck, you write a whole reasonable piece and I almost start to agree with you and then you make an exception for Bruce Fucking Springsteen? If anybody needs their shit cut to a reasonable length it’s acts that ooze self-importance.

Also he should be pushed into a river to see if he sinks or floats and if he floats he should be burned at the stake.

I don’t think that is enough. He probably should be banned from the league and arrested for assault.