One time I got this series of texts from my dad:

Then time to stop being an EMT for a bit. I’m a teacher and when I see teachers who clearly have begun to hate any kid who defies them or makes their job more difficult in any way, I want to send them a note telling them it’s time to exit for awhile and do something else.

Missing from the FB post: links to resources people can call to report/help addicts, decency, empathy.

Or celebrating his own personal achievement and acting like they were going to lap their opponent when it was 17-7 he is black so I don’t like him.

Nobody needs anything besides the basic things our biology demands. Our psychology creates another whole set of demands. For some people, those demands will be met by an iPhone. For others they will not. Nothing anybody can do about it.

And the following year’s Michigan game, don’t forget that one

Anyone who comes after you for this will have to get through me first! I love Vegemite. I am raising my children on it. I snuck it into their bottles without their mother’s knowledge.

Cricket? Rugby? Basketball? What is wrong with you? Are you some sort of... foreigner?

Oooh, I have an opinion on this! Vegemite is bad, Marmite is awful, but I can handle Promite.

I was on a plane once and I brought along three tacos and as I began to eat them the flight attendant screamed “oh no there is a girl on board who is DEATHLY ALLERGIC!” So I got up, reached for my pocket hammer, smashed the window and tossed them out. The attendant thanked me, but the tortillas went directly into the…

Siemian was solid at Northwestern in a tandem with would-be union boss Kain Colter. Siemian’s ACL injury notwithstanding, Mark Sanchez still sucks.

I have no idea why anyone would want to stop having sex with other people just because they’re in a relationship.

i am going to be the anti sex lobby. not for like, religious or ethical reasons just

Sure, there may be some errors, but you still what he’s trying to say.

I was in awe when I saw this one

Have you ever heard a man referred to as “whip smart” though? Personally, I haven't.

I’m very liberal-leaning but I have to admit I worry about the impact of the flow of never-ending hardcore porn into the minds of adolescents who, yes, always had hormones driving curiosity, and always sought out Playboys or Playgirls from that curiosity, but now have a flow of the most esoteric and depraved acts…