The Patriots could have played with a volleyball and still beat the Colts by 30. I wouldn't be shocked if more teams did this, the Pats just suck at getting caught.

Awwww, he thinks he's being creative and edgy! That's adorable.

I feel like the only exception to that is family heirlooms. Those always should go back.

No, that's not true at all. It's completely different when it's a family heirloom. She's abso-fucking-lutely obligated to give the ring back and the law generally backs that up.

My ring is made out of organically-grown, free-range lentils and the artisans who made it actually paid me to take it off their hands.

well he cheated on me & it was a very expensive ring so i sold it & bought myself a car, champagne & a really great mixing console.

"And both girls died in a car accident on prom night" is what really did me in.

You know you don't take your legal drinking age with you when you travel, right?

"Look, kid," she hissed. "You wanna hang with me, you gotta drink, ya dig? So start gulping or hit the pavement."

I kept reading polish week as Polish week, in which case I imagine the prep is less manicure and more:

Nah. Fucking your teenaged daughter is objectively wrong. NEXT.

Like special dog, whilst moving.

oh god what if the kid got away with like

She's also not straight and is a big supporter of not only women's rights but LGBT rights as well. I catch up with her every once and awhile on twitter and I always like what I read.

On BART, my friend once saw a toddler signal to it's mom that it had to poop ("elimination communication") and then the mom took out a tupperware and had the kid shit inside the tupperware. On the actual train car.

Word to that. I had my two best guy friends as my attendants (the third was denied parole and wasn't out until 6 months after the wedding, which was sad but mitigated by his eventual release!) and it was perfect and easy.

You are too kind. I don't think she looks like she votes at all.

You know what? That Brooke Shielda thing is pretty funny.

Best.