Dear Lifehacker,

The joke is on The Rock because we don’t say the last “t”. It’s Toronno. Not ToronTo.

You remember that Sunday morning, two months after dad left, you wake up and notice mom’s hair is seriously mussed, and then you walk into the kitchen and dad is making eggs like the past eight weeks never happened . . .

So we’re supposed to believe that the government is capable of coordinating complex conspiracies, like running a sex ring and planting pipe bombs, but that an individual man can’t paint his sock to make it look like blood?

I think it was that throw to Gronk down the sideline where he noted, “If the safety steps up, he’s going to Gronk one-on-one.” I immediately was staring at that safety, saw him step up, and I was like, “Here it comes.”

Don’t worry, humans hate you as well.

“Don’t be a sheep and believe the media, be a sheep and believe a bunch of unhinged psychopaths online."

The cameras were just to make sure Embiid wasn’t living there rent-free.

Pat would be extremely disappointed to have his family affairs play out in the public

I’d recommend you read the NY Times story referenced here. The story gives a very specific example of how one woman’s journeys were tracked in great detail by her phone. The NYT was able to identify the woman based solely on the information contained in the database.

Merry fucking Christmas Thielen!! Joy to you and all your motherfucking family!!

Other SI cover story ideas:

Weird flex but ok

Weird flex but ok

I have a TCL and love it. The best part is, they are so cheap that I can upgrade every couple years for the same price of buying a Samsung or LG every 10 years haha.

I have a TCL and love it. The best part is, they are so cheap that I can upgrade every couple years for the same…

Betty Adams’ recipe calls for ermine icing,

They each have their place. Sometimes you just wanna click-drag to select a bunch of things. Sometimes you can replace 50 clicks with a single command in the bash shell. Anyone who thinks that every task is best suited to either a CLI or a GUI is horribly mistaken.

You can repeat yourself as often as you like, and you’ll still be wrong.

I thought we agreed he beat off in the shower. 

At what time does he assault an immigrant?

does this post actually make no sense to anyone else?