1. Assemble bread

“I lay there, annoyed that I was getting fucked by a guy with Yeti pubes and a dick like the mushroom character in Mario Kart...

They were high school football teammates at a prep school, so I’m gonna go out on a limb and say Mike Bidwill is probably not on the list of people Brett Kavanaugh didn’t sexually assault.

When tables are outlawed, only outlaws will have tables.

You could steal a North African wildcat kitten,” he says, “and it’d make a pretty decent cat.”

Boy, Frank Oz was “bearly” restrained in his tweets!

I know some personal finance people hate this but I just say screw it and leave my withholdings at 0. Yeah I might be giving the government an interest free loan but I don’t get that large of a return anyways and it’s nicer not having to worry about a tax bill at the end of the day. Plus it makes me live on a budget…

Well that would make his opinion null and void. People from the UK don’t even know how to correctly pronounce the letter z or spell the word color. 

I think you are an outlier. I also don’t remember anyone referring to it as either the NES or Ness back in the day. It seems like in the late 80's and up until SNES was released most people just called it Nintendo. I honestly don’t remember many people referring to them as NES/Super NES/SNES until after the year 2000. 

Wouldn’t be the first time he told Vanessa one thing while doing another

Good call. Stumbled upon Great Notion while my wife was looking for some other store in the area and was really impressed. The blueberry muffin was interesting, but the jammy pants was an absolute show stopper.

Do you like beer? The Cascade Brewing Barrel House on Belmont is the place to go for sours. Some of their sours are so costly to make (due to huge quantities and low yields of seasonal ingredients required) that they can’t produce enough to bottle, so the only way to taste them is from the tap, while supplies last.

It seems to be a Kotaku thing, if you compare any PUBG and Fortnite article on here one will be nothing but rose colored glasses and the other one will be snark. You can probably figure out which one fits for which game. 

FYI, the newest destkop operating systems have emoji keyboards built-in:

I prefer all of these things to being next to someone wearing lots of perfume and cologne. 

It’s the Donald Trump of foods: A slurry of old asshole on the inside and an unhealthy day-glo nightmare on the outside.

We’re very close.

:-)

This is why people hate soccer.