Dan Gilbert is a sparty alum/booster and hires away arguably the best coach in Michigan’s history. Someone hand me another layer of foil for my hat.

Putting yourself at risk for cardiovascular disease to pwn the Libs!!!  Well played, Trumpists!!  

Has Trump taken credit for the win yet?

Conservatives “oppose” birth control and abortion right up to the point in time when they need to use either.

Has Donnie demanded the DOD make him a bigger and better Stanley Cup yet?

Hopefully they don’t convert the engine temperature gauge to Kelvin.

...entitles them to the right to scream whatever vile shit they want to at the opposing team... 

Dear Dog,

Florida Man is a snowbird.  

If MLB had nets, this would be unwritten rule #476,024.

Don Cherry is a xenophobic drunkard.

Detroit still has pro sports?  Huh.

Are you pretending to be Donnie Dotard?

They didn’t hire floor-shitting Chuck. C. Johnson!?  WTH is wrong with this world?!!?

What I have learned over the last 12 hours is that a loss doesn’t count if you’re missing 1 or more star players. Must be wonderful living in a Dukie alternative reality.  

Is he related to Marco Rubio?

I’m surprised he didn’t say KFC.

No need to insult new or used yacht salesmen.  Apologize.  

Now Flori-duh needs to get rid of their Murder-by-Will/Stand-your-ground laws