Is he using a shoelace for a belt?

*you’re

As a native Detroiter, Gordie Howe was our Babe Ruth, Wilt Chamberlain, and Jim Brown wrapped into one.

AND sometime in the future, your son will likely be able to see the US Navy christen the USS WJ Clinton, USS BH Obama, and USS HR Clinton....followed by howling outrage from future conservatives.

Shit. As a lifelong Democrat, this argument is suddenly compelling for me to change my affiliation.

Trump is saying that judges with Mexican and Muslim backgrounds can’t possibly treat him fairly while also saying that he loves Mexicans and Muslims, and they love him, AND they will vote for him. I apologize if you twisted your spine trying to decipher Trump’s twisted logic.

Writers at The Onion are furious they didn’t think of this headline first.

They could have done better:

93 - 80 = 13 Million. By my math, 13 million people is pretty damned huge.

Hopefully they do not try to preserve him by deep fry perpetuity.

True story: ‘Cancer’ is ‘cancer’ in Cajun.

Taking balls to the face.....sounds like a typical Saturday night for Sidney Crosby....immarite?!

This would never, ever happen in an American League ballpark. More proof the AL is superior over the NL.

What’s the big deal? I think this story is getting blown out of proportion.

Coco Crisp should get a 3 week suspension for having a breakfast cereal name.

Is she in a bikini on The Chive....if not...why not???

In 30 years both Tampa and Bradenton will be excellent reef diving spots for Pittsburghians? ...Pittsburghers? ...Pittsburghites? Whatevs.....

Are you pretending to be retarded?

Everything is bigger in Texas.

This is Trumpland, USA! No political correctness! Putting women in their place! Real-life bumper cars! Car chases! All for the low, low, low price of electing the most vile and unqualified candidate in US history.