If he's in a very bad place, I'm sure Pau Gasol could recommend some good neighborhoods: http://deadspin.com/5899315/blake-griffin-returned-pau-gasol-to-a-very-bad-place-with-another-posterizing-dunk

Ever-growing list? I thought it was just "all of them".

Or Route 8 north of Waterbury... Route 7 north of Danbury...

Whatever they are, they read what we write for 'em, so they qualify as semi-literate. Now, their comments on our stories, on the other hand...

Hope your money's on the over, because Chris Culliver's their star CB.

The good news: you're right.

In the heart of UConn territory... nope. Never gets old.

If they were anything like our office, they probably didn't do anything to solve the problem besides tell people to suck it up. Thankfully, they haven't banned space heaters here, but I'm seemingly the only person who isn't freezing at his desk.

Within a week after our newspaper moved offices (and subsequently replaced the free coffeemaker in the break room with a paid Keurig), at least five of us brought in our own coffeemakers for our cubicles. And to think they thought we were going to pay for coffee, then used that as a selling point for the office cafe...

Modern consoles, though. The Nintendo section only goes back as far as the N64, which is (to be fair) farther back than I'd expect.

Yeah, but what am I going to do about all these annoying dipshits that keep bragging about how they don't use Facebook? I seriously can't find the privacy setting to make them leave. And then punch themselves in the face.

No, the comment section of every article regarding Facebook is the real Bragbook (at least for people who don't use Facebook).

Please report to my job so I can personally high-five you for this analogy.

...correction: the only thing people hate more than the "I deleted my Facebook and it's AWESOME" types are the "I deleted my Facebook, so I'm better than you drones/sheeple/unwashed masses/proletariat" types. Back into your cage.

Sorry, Finn's hat is too small to qualify this wallpaper as awesome.

They still kind of do, in a sense. Of course, I only see the pattern wallpapers when I do a fresh install, then nuke all the included wallpapers and replace them with my collection.

Following up on an earlier offer, I just got this email today:

Chevy Chase in about 10 years?

Nope. If he was a snitcher and a talker, he'd get stitches and walkers, but you have to have both parts in there.