Yeah, but what am I going to do about all these annoying dipshits that keep bragging about how they don't use Facebook? I seriously can't find the privacy setting to make them leave. And then punch themselves in the face.

No, the comment section of every article regarding Facebook is the real Bragbook (at least for people who don't use Facebook).

Please report to my job so I can personally high-five you for this analogy.

...correction: the only thing people hate more than the "I deleted my Facebook and it's AWESOME" types are the "I deleted my Facebook, so I'm better than you drones/sheeple/unwashed masses/proletariat" types. Back into your cage.

Sorry, Finn's hat is too small to qualify this wallpaper as awesome.

They still kind of do, in a sense. Of course, I only see the pattern wallpapers when I do a fresh install, then nuke all the included wallpapers and replace them with my collection.

It's actually a bigger deal than you would expect. Gronkowski's the first known person to contract arm herpes.

How polite of Jimmy Simpson to evaluate his own tweet in the hashtag.

Exactly. The editors for various sites don't have time to run around and whack those spam comments, but because they're the ones starting the root threads for comments, they're the only ones with the power to stop them. Comment moderators and a reporting button, or just the approval process for new comments from the…

Another question for yinz: one of my friends gave me her old laptops, and I'm fixing one up to give to another friend. It's a Compaq Presario R3000 (yeah, ancient, but she's currently on Windows 98, so this'll be an improvement) with an Athlon 1.6Ghz processor and (thanks to a cheap find at Microcenter) the maximum of…

Or just hire a couple of editorial whatevers as comment moderators. I don't know how it's working with the full Kinja experience on Jalopnik, but hopefully they fixed that.

I believe one of Gizmodo's editors said that these posts are being made by live humans. That would be enough to slip through and just get on there in the first place. In Kinja's defense, other websites get these spam comments using non-Kinja systems, so it's not just slipshod coding by Gawker. Although the nice thing…

Copypasta from the Ask Lifehacker thread:

So apparently I completely blew past the Inbox Zero bit, but I just decided to queue up for Mailbox.

That really is a cool story, bro. I could read it 500 times in a row.

Someone who doesn't have to be a dick on the Internet about their favorite things OH NO I DI'IN'T VICTORY LAP TIME

Is there an iOS app which will allow you to block apps (and you can choose what goes through) and automatically respond to text messages if you're going over a certain speed? I saw that AT&T has one, and while I am an AT&T customer, the app is only for Android. I'd like to stop myself from opening apps besides…

They live in Darien, which makes this even more inexplicable. Darien's, what, 10 minutes away from Stew Leonard's? You CAN'T be mad when you're 10 minutes away from Stew Leonard's, unless they're closing in five minutes.

Hopefully he doesn't keep his anaconda in his office. However, conducting morning workouts, which consist solely of side bends and sit-ups, in his office is okay with me.

Wake me when he kills a boar with a book.