That really is a cool story, bro. I could read it 500 times in a row.

Someone who doesn't have to be a dick on the Internet about their favorite things OH NO I DI'IN'T VICTORY LAP TIME

Is there an iOS app which will allow you to block apps (and you can choose what goes through) and automatically respond to text messages if you're going over a certain speed? I saw that AT&T has one, and while I am an AT&T customer, the app is only for Android. I'd like to stop myself from opening apps besides…

Precisely. You got my hopes up about them upgrading the tentacle to a flash drive for nothin'. (pouts, slouches forward and kicks the ground)

It pretty much is. The Square site doesn't have any good views of the back of the stand, but it's one of these puppies: http://hecklerdesign.com/windfall/

If that's the future of Starbucks, SIGN ME UP.

Just IMAGINE all the different angles of Rick DiPietro's next crippling injury!

They can't stop it in the first place, as of right now, because they're being posted by real people. Other sites get this spam too. Just don't confuse incompetence or technical drawbacks with conspiracies.

They live in Darien, which makes this even more inexplicable. Darien's, what, 10 minutes away from Stew Leonard's? You CAN'T be mad when you're 10 minutes away from Stew Leonard's, unless they're closing in five minutes.

Hopefully he doesn't keep his anaconda in his office. However, conducting morning workouts, which consist solely of side bends and sit-ups, in his office is okay with me.

Wake me when he kills a boar with a book.

As much as I wanted to do that, I think the best option nowadays is to use a Raspberry Pi or some other tiny board. (At least that's what I'm going to do.) That is, unless you have everything on hand.

Exactly. Those exact same comments are getting posted to non-Gawker sites all the time. As much as Kinja sucks from the poisoned teat of pageviews uber alles, this isn't just because of the new comment system. (The old system provided a layer to prevent those from getting through, but that's another story.)

Thanks to the insane amount of driving I'm doing (it's already over 171,000 miles) it might not have much value. But that is the plan. As far as I know, I would be able to get more value trying to sell it down near my wife, though.

(1) Because it was the only job available in my field, really. I used to work at a paper that was much closer, but leaving wasn't really my decision.

Starting, of course, with the grape jelly doughnuts.

"Question is" or "questions are". Choose one. CAPTAIN GRAMMAR TO THE RESCUE!

Okay, now take your situation and (a) knock about $100 off of each of those checks (b) dump the PT job, because your FT job schedule is all over the place and won't allow for a PT job (c) dump the apartment, because you can't afford rent in your overpriced state and have to live with your parents 40 miles away (d)…

How about if you bought a new car because it was all you could afford? I have the car I'm driving now because my old car was on its last legs and between the trade-in value and my tax payment, I had enough for a down payment on a new car (or an unreliable used car, which in my line of work isn't going to cut it). Once…

No, but being an overpaid yuppie helps you actually save money, as opposed to scraping by because you are, quite literally, making only slightly more than it takes to cover expenses (mandatory expenses, too, because you've already cut everything else to the bone). I'd get into it further, but you're just going to…