It's just annoying because there's only so much more I could do to it to make it functional. Jailbreaking so I could enable multitasking (and, more importantly, shut down problematic apps)? Nice, but I can't upgrade past 4.2.1, it's still prone to random crashes (I can't switch between texts and the iPod app, as the…

No, he's a dickhead because once you take off the toupee, all you see is a bald dome with a slit in the top.

Cumberland Farms wins this one outright. Their iced coffee is, quite literally, hot coffee dumped in a carafe of cold water.

Unless you change the password every hour or two. Then people have to buy more stuff to get the new password on the receipt.

Sounds like the one time I had to camp out at Dunkin Donuts and write all of my stories for work, due to a prolonged power outage. (This was right after the Giant Fuck You Winter Storm of Halloween 2011, and northwest CT was one of the last places to get power back.) Someone at the next table spent hours talking to…

Also, where do refills enter into the equation? If I'm getting free refills because I'm using my gold Starbucks card, does that make me any less of a good customer?

Point of order. (pushes glasses further up nose) The proper term is "cock-juggling thundercunt".

FINALLY. Facebook's app was so unstable on my 3G, and it was such a pain in the ass to clear notificati—

Psst: my job hinges, in part, on engaging people via Facebook. Sorry to kill your e-peen boner with that, but the only people that overshare more than your typical Facebook user are people that stopped using Facebook.

(bites tongue) So... many... inappropriate comments...

No "you wouldn't download a bear!",

I'm STILL not paying for Usenet access so I can pirate things.

The people that were probably bothered the most by that joke were the sponsors and Linda McMahon's campaign manager. If she lost the primary on Tuesday, and he made the joke the following Monday... well, he'd still be fired, but we wouldn't be able to blame it on Linda McMahon's career ambition.

Well, yeah. Everyone knows the appropriate social medium for medical emergency video is Orkut. Or maybe Diaspora.