Yeah. And martinis can be called “dry”. Language is funny like that.

Sure. When have personal definitions for common words, anything is possible

Simple. Pull your goddamn labia out of the way

Men and women think so differently. I imagined the same scenario but it involved a lot of penetration and bodily fluids.

It was white people. Cis-gendered heteronormative, privileged white people.

According to vegans.

It's a good thing we have people like you to report on these very urgent stories.

I fear too many idiots make predictions.

Actually, it’s totally worth it. In fact, it’s necessary. There’s a reason women waste an inordinate amount of energy on preening.

She invented the market.

They laugh at how losers like you view their complacency as virtue.

If only people would just hand you everything you need.

But, hey!— You own your own house!! Bet that fucking mortgage payment is totally worth the grief.

What the fuck did you think it would be? Good thing you left they fired you because apparently you were too incompetent to understand your responsibilities.

Don't mistake your lack of balls for virtue.

I'm sure the cops will give her a ride to the hospital. Too bad she didn't call them.

How about calling the fucking cops??

A violent felony has been commited. I’ll involve a middle man. Makes sense.

I’d say that anyone who goes to the campus authorities with a bullet wound or a heinous crime like sexual assault should probably be be shown the keypad on their phone.

That’s obvious. People call real police only when they believe an actual crime has been commited.