Anything with Jean-Ralphio.

I never really got into "Rescue Me," but I absolutely loved his short-lived cop show "The Job" from the early 2000s. So underrated.

If some asshole ever took me to court for PLAGIARIZING MY OWN SONG, then I would tweet some really nasty things when he died, too.

Something, something, Courtney Love's head.

The line from that speech that always makes me throw up a little in my mouth:

Someone just wrote the opening line of NerdInTheBasement's valedictorian speech . . .

You know something . . . Uma and Oprah. Those are funny names!

I woke up on the floor of some Japanese family's rec room, and they would NOT stop screaming.

He has earned every single bit of it.

But who will play Leeeeeeroooooooooy Jenkins?

That was fucking phenomenal.

PAT!

Shhhhh . . . don't let John Lithgow hear that or he'll never loosen up on letting kids dance in that town!

You had me at comedy. You lost me with French.

Please welcome . . . HAAAAAAAMBURGER PHOOOOOOOONE!!!!!!!

I think you're leaning a little much on semantics there. If you have to employ an editor to cut together the biggest laughs, it's not a genuine live audience response. It's like how "Married With Children" used a live audience, but always made sure that the audience was made up of their most rabid fans. Is it real…

Well, they actually manipulate the live audience laughter using a process called "sweetening." An editor takes the audience laughter from various takes and screw-ups during the taping, and cut it together to make it seem like the laughs you see in the episode that airs is always raucous. Seems like cheating to me.

Wow, you philistines still use toilet paper? How gauche! Everybody knows that the cultured anus prefers the watery clean that can only come from a bidet.

Well, my "Family Ties' Own Tina Yothers Fan Club" has done wonders in raising awareness. Of Tina Yothers.

So young . . . so much to learn . . .