“Mr. Trump, because you demolish country and succumb to my every dream of destroying the West, I give you game ball. Is fun, no? We laugh!”

Putin: Mr President, here is an official World Cup football.
Trump: Football? Football? I’m not idiot, this isn’t a football. A football is a different shape, whaddaycallit? Crosswise? That must be it, because it’s in my mind and I’m really smart. The smartest. My Geography teacher told me I knew my shapes better than…

“it is disrespectful because Baron Cohen isn’t American.”

No, it isn’t, though if you’re suggesting more Americans should be willing to do the patriotic thing and strike back, even if in a small way, against these assholes, then I agree. Fucking pathetic that a foreigner has to do it for us.

Marry me?

I was offered a job here last summer. When I read the contract, I decided to ghost them (it basically said anyone can harass anyone, the justification being the sewer like comments users leave on their posts, but the protection blatantly extended to employees themselves harassing each other).

Hey, I resemble that remark

hahaha man this hit way too close to home. 

what a disgusting piece of shit this guy is. 

“Barstool Radio, a show enjoyed exclusively by Deloitte interns who wish they were still in college”

You see that funny looking (j) attached to Rule 6.01? That’s a subset of the rule specifically detailing what is and isn’t permissible while, as the title suggests “Sliding to Bases on Double Play Attempts”.

“And your final score, it’s the MAGAs over the Butteremails 6 to 4...”

Why do White people think this easily refuted nonsense?

The real controversy here is “why the fuck did Woodward send Kemp?!”.

If you have to lie about why you canceled your event, then have your state-run media lie about why you canceled your event, you might just have to admit you’re the kid in class who’ll never have anyone come to his birthday party.

“I have a bachelor’s in journalism...”

Especially when there is no rule in place against it. You may not like it, but so what, call the league afterwards and address it as a gap in the rules. Otherwise, let the boys play.

Why the actual fuck is the umpire involving himself here? Because Baez was being rude? If he wants to stand in front of the baserunner, that’s the Cubs’ problem to deal with. Jesus, I hate when referees are morality police.

Right? “It’s part of the game, get better signs”... but asking a player to move out from behind a fielder is just too much!

Colorado’s announcers were pretty awful in that clip.