Cool. I wanna feed it to a very small dog.

I accept your offer.

Given the replies above, I’m REALLY not sure you want to say “anything”...

Great idea! I’ll try that.

Use the Dorito crumbs to soak it up?

“I would be willing to humbly offer myself to anyone that would like to do anything they want to my penis.”

I spat my Mountain Dew and dropped my controller, and now I have put on clothes and clean my mom’s basement carpet. Thanks, I guess?

Like, okay, so you’re hosting me at a party, do I now have the right to destroy your household furnishings, eat all the food in your cabinets, and like set up camp on your couch for nine months and then 18 more years? Oh I don’t? Wait, what?

Oh, you’ve just unleashed the full wrath of us man hating, feminazi Jezebels on yourself. Good luck with that! ;)

Even in the most egalitarian of relationships, like my own!, it’s impossible for a true 50/50 split. But you know this guy thinks that’s just how the cookie crumbles and we had a whole lifetime to get used to the idea. I HAVE a baby, and I’m still not used to the idea. :-/

As a host, I’d say women have a right to eject anyone not wanted at the party. Also, being a host doesn’t preclude them from owning the body. Fucking “patriarchal” dip-shits

All but one of your stars was from former MTV VJs. The last one was from me.

Dan Cortes?

So MTV Rock ‘N Jock 1997 rules? Thanks, Dan Cortese.

They should also lower those rims from 25 and 50 feet for the last 2 minutes of each half and put the 10 point spots around the 3 point line

Hello. I’m not American. Can someone tell me why America thought it was a good idea to make a functionally illiterate man with severe personality disorders the President of the United States of America?

“First, to get a cranberry juice stain off of your shirt, put it in the washer. Don’t, as I did, shoot two people in a SUV outside of the club.”

It features an orange clownfish...he probably just thought the movie was about him. And got excited when Bannon told him it starred a lesbian.