After all, this was Star Wars. How could it fail?

I can’t wait to see the outrage from baseball pundits over these very understandable opinions about the World Series.

Jesus, the man is paid to play defense in the NFL, he was standing on the first down marker and wanted to make sure Flacco didn’t get a first down. He didn’t go out of his way to injure someone or lead with the crown of his helmet, he was trying to do his job and went in for a tackle. He didn’t launch after he saw him…

In retaliation, Irvin is expected to show up at the other Steve Smith’s house and beat the shit out of him.

Wow, Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder are being assholes? What a fucking surprise.

Last time I checked, this type of tackle is 100% allowed and done by a ton of players. If you are expecting wrap ups every play, you must get upset alot.

Oh come on, he takes another step forward at the 14 for the first down, he doesn’t actually start falling on his ass until like the 11. It’s not pretty by any means, but I honestly don’t know what else he could’ve done in that scenario short of just giving up a first down. He leads with a shoulder, and you can’t…

I’m with ya, Flacco didn’t exactly telegraph his slide, he basically would’ve slide tackled Alonso if he didn’t go for the hit. The announcers also brought up an example last week where New Orleans defenders let up and Hundley decided not to slide and took it in for a TD. The hit was graphic and unfortunate, but…

Flacco decided to go down at the last second, while he and Alonso were running full speed at each other. I am completely fine with the penalty, but I don’t think Alonso deserves to be ejected because Flacco decided to slide with less than two yards between the two and Kiko wasn’t magically able to pull away from a hit…

Are you kidding me? I could have sex three times in that interval.

LaVar trashing every team before the game and Lonzo getting wrecked as a result of those comments is the purest form of karma, and I love it. I hope LaVar never stops with his bullshit, and we get to see this in action 30 times a year for the next decade.

YOU WERE SO CLOSE DAMMIT

With a core of Markkanen, Lavine, Dunn and Valentine, the Bulls have hopes for the future. I have no fucking idea what the scope of those hopes should be, but they’re there alright.

Apartment complexs already had a solution to this problem, it’s called a locked mailbox/bin for them to drop your packages off in. It’s amazing how today’s supposed forward thinking techies waste their time churning out solutions to problems that were solved decades ago.

To hell with your bullshit sir, the only acceptable thing that is allowed to ferment is alcohol. The rest of this shit is just you Kellie Picklers doing the equivalent of drinking spoiled milk.

What’s that about touching the base of people’s pickles?

C’mon guys, I realize Eli is the King Dingus among other dinguses, but he was playing the Seahawks without his top 3 receivers. Let’s leave him alone and go pick on a Browns QB.

Good god, now the coaches are even flopping in the NBA. I blame these European coaches for coming over and making it en vogue.

To be fair, his apology was probably for being seen hanging out with Travis Kelce. Not a good look, bud.

Due to these conclusions, the Warriors are planning on signing Jason Collins immediately.