My name is Greg Berlanti. After five weeks in a hellish Hollywood landscape I have come home with only one goal— to save my TV shows. But to do so, I can’t be the producer I once was. To keep a good image and not have DC rip my licenses away, I must associate with someone else. I must associate with something else.

We regret to inform you that the poop emoji (NOT Patrick Stewart) has been asking women for years if he can lie on their chests

Due to mass disqualifications across the board, this year’s winner in all categories is...The Emoji Movie!

“Welcome to the 90th Annual Academy Awards. We’re going to start with a ten minute scrolling list of all the people we have expelled from the Academy this year, as well as all of the current nominees who are now disqualified.”

They did it together. They murdered someone. Their story is the basis of How To Get Away With Murder.

I’m just waiting for that fateful day when the New York Times runs an expose on all the terrible things I’ve done to the craft services table.

a president who somehow makes us long for Bush’s kinder, gentler war crimes.

This is beyond horrifying. As are all of these stories.

You know, Louie, if you had done this a few weeks (or months, or years) ago, it would have carried a lot more weight.

pulls all of his streaming content

A little from column A, a little from column B.

Yeah, sexual assault does that.

I think it’s more likely that it’s behavior that escalated over time, and only got as far as it did because they were rich/powerful/famous enough to get away with the lesser behavior. If some random dude started talking about his dick unprompted, nobody would be around him long enough for him to actually whip it out.

So is Louie CK, apparently.

I’m ALWAYS thinking about Pootie Tang.

And what of Pootie Tang? Won’t someone think of Pootie Tang?

To many of you: You don’t get credit for “never liking (his/her/their) work anyway”! shut up, isn’t even remotely about that.

Ironically this whole thing happened because Louis already pulled his own streaming content.

Clearly not the only thing he was Hands-on with...I’ll see myself out.

Oh my god please be a Porg trilogy.