No no no, at some NYC pizza joints you can get the Jamaican beef or chicken patties, which are delicious!  Should’ve been more clear, but I was hiiiiiigh when I remembered that delicious combination!

Where exactly do you just “get a beef patty”?  Am I stopping at a burger joint before hand and asking for a no bun plain burger?

All those are why the answer is definitely more planes than submarines in the ocean.  

I wish I could give this more stars. My wife does this and holds the phone six inches from her face (rather than using speakerphone or the expensive aftermarket bluetooth kit I installed in her car) so that I can hear only every third word. Then, when she gets home, she complains that we have nothing to talk about.  

I think at best they could pick up on your actual mood, and would interpret the bird as nothing at all.

Yeah, I’m thinking sunken war planes make this question a no-brainer.

I feel like everyone who plays a lot of PC games is near guaranteed to use the left-shift, since it's so close to WASD. 

Can’t enjoy my future heart attack without a touch of cancer on there! 

Cat dude is right and his GF is oversensitive. I mean, middle fingers probably aren’t even an insult in some parts of the human world. So a cat won’t get the meaning. At most, it will think of your extended finger as something to paw at.

This...  WWII alone probably contributed more planes to the ocean and sea floors than all submarines ever made..

LOL. Laughably bad take.

I just posted essentially the same thing.

Didn’t say a word against cooked onions. I often make balsamic onions slow cooked in a pan to put on burgers as well. I like them both ways. I just think overall, red onions are better than Drew suggests.

We have municipally owned utilities, stadiums, and other things. Why can’t we have municipally owned sports franchises?

Ugh, old man dick in the gym locker room. A little while back, an old guy got out of the shower, dried off, put his socks on, then proceeded to put on an undershirt, his dress shirt, his tie, and a sweater over the shirt and tie and then fixed his hair. I have never witnessed anything like it. This man put on three…

I was gonna say, even if you discount WWII, in which literal thousands of airplanes and at most a couple hundred submarines were built, shot at, and sunk, the number of recently sunken + currently active submarines still has to be less than the number of planes lost at sea since then.

I was always of the thinking that a bathroom fan has two functions: exhaust odors and shower perspiration, and cancel out the noises people make when they use the shitter. I need to have a fan on when I sleep for the white noise, so to suddenly walk into a dead-silent bathroom is...unsettling.

Red onions should be much higher. Whether sliced and put on a burger or diced and sprinkled on a taco, they give things a bit of a nice spicy bite. Vidalias, on the other hand, are overrated bullshit. They’re getting by on name alone, like Starbucks, Justin Bieber or New Years Eve. And leeks ain’t that much trouble:…

The reason you want your slice heated more than the default amount is not for temp, but to get slight carbonization of the pepperoni and bits of the cheese. Burnt, crisp edges, in other words.

This post made me cry.