" ... Derrick Dick found an opening and stunned Copperas Cove"

"He makes every play feel like the game clock's set at 0:01 in the fourth quarter."

"No worries, Mr. Angelo. We assure you and the Chicago Bears organization, Gaines Adams is one healthy dude."

When the Yankee's come to Safeco, Griffey will be back for Tickle-Me-Ichiro Night.

+1

The Abbey Ale is delicious. I'm also a fan of the Rare Vos. It was almost impossible for me to not buy a bike jersey while I was there.

If you're going to Cooperstown, for the love of God stop at the Ommegang brewery. I went over the summer and I was not disappointed. The beer is fantastic and I assume the food is pretty good as well.

"It's not a TV play first and foremost. It's a web play."

When Todd Haley feels like courting a woman he runs circles in her front lawn with his GTO. When the smoke clears, the phrase DTF is etched into the grass.

Todd Haley snuck into a Health classroom at a local school and defaced every single book on sexual reproduction. Inside the chapter on penises, he crossed out the word erection and wrote in "Getting a Massive Todd"

"You are the EVIL EMPIRE OF GRITITUDE!" I screamed into my wife's vagina after we attempted to have sex on the beach.

+1

Cameron Diaz looks pissed.

I'd like to watch you drown in a sea of pregnant women.

You get that the extra bars are to avoid other players from grabbing the face mask and jerking your head around, right? Just need to be clear here.

+1

I was waiting for someone to finally make a Donkey Sauce crack. Cheers to you, sir.

That shit is run on version 2.1 of Foxpro.

That is brutal +1

Seven Years After Crowds Non Plussed By The Longest Yard, Adam Sandler Gets A Second Chance - Grown Ups 2 Now in Post-Production