I went to something that my friend suggested but when I pulled it up I said, forget it. Looked like a site where you'd give a Nigerian prince your mothers social security check for the remainder of her life.

So, I cancelled cable a couple weeks ago and started working with all Internet based solutions. It's not so bad except the whole I can't watch fucking sports thing. I bought the MLB.TV package but the blackout restriction is killing me and being forced to go to the bar to watch everything is starting to get old.…

"$300, and all I got was told I needed to make another appointment."

When I was 6 years old my family had planned a trip to Wisconsin. The day of the vacation I woke up and looked like something from Enemy Mine (starring Dennis Quaid!). My parents took me to the pediatrician and not the ER for some reason. In the waiting room, I went to go play with the other kids by the Lego bench and…

It took some time but man, Bernie looks like shit.

Are you emulating on the PC or on another platform?

Lord Vader ... rise.

"Are the 42-year-olds who find it necessary to wear their replica jerseys to a road game, those kids who are now fathers who haven't grown up?"

The condition that has Bane's elbow swollen twice its normal size did not impact his performance of the shattering of Bruce Wayne's spine in Gotham City.

That. Was masterful.

Excuse me, Mr. Austin, sir? You've spilled beer on your jean shorts.

... a winking term that signifies they know we know.

"You have no idea."

"... she starts crying. I'm like, aww shit, he went too far."

I'm dying over here. Thank you.

I see that Sheed's Bald Spot is making the transition from the digital MS Paint medium to crisp, white, lined paper. I applaud your efforts, good sir.

+1 Mcconaughey

+1

I live to give.